With Love Farhan

He always believed in concept of "rising" in love than "falling" in love. Rising in love brings on the notion  that you never surrender self-empowerment for the other. When you "rise" in love, you accelerate moving your energies in tto higher creative realms. This was not happening to Farhan for first time. He read the note, he sent to Tara, again and again.

There was a sense of well being, at least she could marry at her right age, unlike many of her friends. She have decided it long time back, to marry in her sweet 30s.

But as always things wouldn't fall in right place, easily. Tara seemed to be in some sort of deep thought. She was on contemplate mode.

All these while she was in peace with her decision. But, as the day of wedding approached closer. She felt a fire in her belly. Suddenly fear and anxiety had camped inside her mind. Fear was troubling her with many questions. .

"Taara, look here!"
It was Tara's sister. She showed a designer saree she had selected from the bridal collection. They had come for completing the most important stage of pre Wedding, the Bridal shopping.

Tara nodded her head in agreement without bothering to see saree. All she could see was the enthusiasm in her sister's face. She looks happy.

Why not?. At last her sister has come in term to societal expectations. She had agreed to enter wedlock like every individual of society. Very soon she will be Mrs Arun Nair!. Everyone were happy. He is a NRI from America.

It was a 'yes' from her, after series of interview with many prospective grooms. Mr Arun Nair somehow managed to stand out from the rest.

"Didi, I am not feeling well"
Tara said to her sister. It was an excuse to stay away from the crowd. The shop was so busy, as if the whole world have decided to get married.

Tara settled down alone in the silent corner of the building. She took a coffee from a vending machine on the side. Its a natural tendency to have coffee in stressed out situation.

Her newfound stress intensified as she thought more about it. Her mind was Oscillating between a 'Yes' and 'No'. Her hands were literally shaking. It felt like she was on the edge of world and had to make a decision, there and then.

Things were not so tense, weeks ago, when Arun Nair put a ring on her finger. There was a smile on her face. In fact she was feeling victorious, as it was a well thought decision. He was sending her flowers, gifts and everything our culture have told, is the way of Love.  The love butterflies were flying. The feeling was in air, as you should feel head over heels "in love". She has met her prince at last, like the one which she saw in Fairy tales, as she grow up.

But as always, time open the curtain to truth. As the initial rush of feeling and certainty faded, the frightful layers beneath showed up.

"Was this the real love she was searching for her lifetime?"

There was no risk of real love all these while. There was no risk of vulnerability or loss, while chasing or searching the 'unavailable partner' or the 'perfect one'.

But moment faced with the reality of life long commitment to a so called "the perfect man available", inner voice supported by fear intervened.

Fear and love are dualities in the same chamber of heart. Fear protects your vulnerable heart when u fall in Love. Befriending fear helps love to make room for inner voice's  questions.

"Mr Arun do you really love me?"
Question were to examine if real connection existed. There shouldn't be room for any doubt. Its going to be a life time decision.

Gradually Mr Arun Nair, the perfect prince from fairy tale seems, vanishing by the progression of her inner voice questions.

"Mr Arun, tell me what is real Love?"
All these things didn't come out when she interviewed him, when they met for first time. But then there is a two side of getting to know a person, that is emotionally and rationally. Rationally we can interview, analyse and understand. But emotional side is different. It require time.

Real love is not just emotions, its beyond thoughts or feelings. Its knowing that you are still motivated to spent time with him, even after that initial rush of feelings vanishes. Even when all the butterflies of romance disappears, you should be drawn to him like magnetic pull, sometime strong, some time less.

Tara open her eyes to see if Arun was there or not. In fact Mr Arun Nair has vanished.
"What?". Tara woke from her sleep with shock. There was no real love. She gulped in a glass of water.

It was not that Tara didn't knew, all this while. Its all matter of time. All these thoughts awake from ocean of subconscious, only when real love stood in front of her like a rock. The rock that she had failed to notice all this while.

There was a smile in her face. It felt more better now. She happily read again the last note Farhan sent her. She had been reading it repeatedly for a while.

"Some times inspired by our fantasy, we think that once you meet "The perfect  one", you will be lifted out of misery or boredom and elevated in to state of bliss. He is supposed to fill emptiness in you.

But in real nobody can make you feel joyful and whole. Its something we have to do our own, being in touch with the inner self. We have to look inside and create our own happiness there.

While I would wish you for your better future. Inside I would say you to come back!."
With Love
Farhan