Intelligence is sexy part - 2

 Idealism and karma are her favourite idea. She was gifted with this complex layers in her personality. But she never let it prevent disconnecting with averages of society. Sometimes she faked being more like them so they would accept her. It was very normal for her to do so. All she wanted was harmony. The very pupose of her life is helping and motivating others. She has a very warm, selective language, speaking in human terms, rather than pure logic and facts. She can be both incredibly shy, quet and withdrawn, aswell as charming, fun and hilarious.

 When it comes to intimacy, she looks for connection that goes beyond physical. She prefer to embrace both spiritual and emotional connection, she have with partner. You cherish not just the act of being in a relationship, but what it means to become one with another person in mind, body and soul. She can take time to find someone with whom she can connect truely. Once she find that, it will be a relationship with a level of depth and sincerity, of which most people can only dream.

 Nadeem was a perfect person for her to experience what love and life has to offer. She can go out of her way for him. She might create wall for fear of getting hurt or people misunderstanding her. She doesnt want to be judged for all these complex inner thoughts and feeling. So she keep them behind other  gifted layers she posess. She might have a cynical side, which makes her look more practical than romantic. But It isn't what she is.  She is a closet romantics with big heart and passionate spirit.

"Bloody hell!, I am hooked". she thought. She was replaying her conversation with Nadeem again and again in her mind.  It is that haunting feeling, that pokes you in the first stage of fascination. But She knew it well, because this was a loop she travelled before.  Being consumed by love is something often she dreams of and also fear at same time

" I swear, I recognized him, that I knew him from somewhere in past, moment I saw him. The connection was instant". She said to her friend.

Having concern of hurting other's feelings, she always run away from conflict. For she might internalize conflict in to her body and experience health problems under lot of stress. She knew that she had to meet him again. They are in different cities now. She will meet him before leaving for higher studies. There are many questions to ask him. She wanted to know everything. She is genuinely as warm as she is complex. She is close to people who are able to understand her depth of care.

Natasha tried to put everything off mind and sleep. It was 2:00 AM already.

"If I couldn't crawl inside his head and look out at world from behind his eyes, there was a strong chance, I might suffocate and die" Fascination was not going to leave her tonight.

This is an obsession nobody would understand, If Natasha explained. For most of her life, she was crazy, needy, clingy or even had stalker syndrome, that surfaced at unexpected time. The fascination has taken over her again. She would be doomed to beat her head against her inner wall, untill she can collapse out with sheer weariness.

When she consulted about this to her friend, if she might be romatically attached to a person whom she dont know well or just her ego getting satisfied. They suggested to give it more time.

Wheather she buys their idea or not, her fascination had different plans.  It wanted her to know as much about Nadeem and ofcourse crawl inside his head for short time and live there, just to see what could be found out.

"Yes, 50% is her obsession, but 50% is what Nadeem is doing." She reflected

Once you meet someone, with whom you have formed a fast, intense and dynamic connection , it will be better to come together quick to exchange soul lessons. They carry the pieces we desires.

"Ok! Wait! Let me slow this down"

Natasha was a specious wired to do things either with passion or not at all. Perhaps middle of the road feels like a stagnant approach to living. It seems bland, uneventful, uninspiring. No room for development. No opportunity to go off the beaten path in search of your own. It rids us of the highs and lows we need in order to experience the full spectrum of life. Natasha was always on eternal quest to find an endeavor or field of work that gives her the feeling of contributing to the greater good, of helping others, of creating a legacy.

She wondered "I often feel I’m “burdened with glorious purpose,” to quote Loki, but have no clue what that purpose is, nor how to find it." So when settling into an occupation or project, if she not feeling it, would invariably move on."

She reflected " Love fiercely, or not at all; exercise relentlessly and eat well, or pig out on the sofa and eat junk food; work 20 hours a day for days on end, or sit and procrastinate all weekend like it’s no one’s business. I cannot do middle of the road, at least not for any appreciable length of time. I’m not sure why."

Natasha took a deep breath in and out. She was feeling thirsty. She gulped a glass of water. Pursuing real life relationship with person whom you form a fascination is not easy. The circumstance can cause all kind of conflict, disfunction and heartbreak down the line. Fascination is not the green signal for romance. But its not a cause for her to shut herself down and run in other direction either.

She knew Nadeem would be clueless at other end. She hadn't given a notice and expressed that they need this distance. She just dissapeared without word. She read emotions of others well. All Natasha didn't want was to hurt Nadeem. She will take care of him in the way it should be. She need to have clarity.

"Men tend to fall in love easily and express love quickly comparing to us. They have less to loose.    It could be for evolutionary reason. Women have to be more guarded about falling for someone. " Natasha thought

 But She could't fade out her fascination for Nadeem neither. If she does that, she would torture herself to hell. She would talk to him soon. She doesn't want to run away or procastinate for long, as fascination choked her. She wanted to explore it. Give the object of her obsession, space to speak their experience, as part of her story. She wanted to see what changes occur, when she does exactly what Nadeem wants.

She messaged him
"Hey, How you?"

If all goes well, it would be rosses and chockalates soon in no matter of time. For a hopeless romantic, life is love. They walks the life wearing rose coloured glasses. Everything is lovey-dovey, beautiful and romantic. She was a smiling, when she thought about it.

"Hey" Reply from Nadeem came. Anxiety coiled inside Natasha.  She doubted if she wanted conversation now. But its out of her nature to be a ghost now. She knew she can deal this.  She will continue on cynical mode. 

Intelligence is sexy

“How will I answer the questions soul ask?”

Nadeem scribbled randomly on his notepad. He was in conversation for past one hour. Most of his lifetime is spent in inner talks. He can be on self reflection mode for weeks. Sometimes months, uncovering the core beliefs from depth of his being, deriving meanings from life's puzzles. Its not an easy journey, untill you arrive at final destination of inner peace. 

Fear of uncertainity never stops him. An idealist is always in search of meaning in life. For an instance, if he is walking down a path and stubs his toes, he may wonder why it happened and what it means. While others look for casual connection between things in space, idealist always believes universe is trying to tell them something. He would start searching his thoughts or current event in his life, to see if something is holding him back or tripping him up.

“Excuse me!”

Nadeem was disturbed from his trip.

“Can I take this seat?” asked his classmate.

“Sorry!”, Nadeem brutaly turn down the request. The seat was reserved for Natasha.

It is going to be first bell soon. Natasha haven’t arrived yet.

However counciously Nadeem tried to avoid thoughts of Natasha, it came back strongly. He feared if Natasha would figure it out, when he is overly available to her. He was totallly tripping over love. It all began when Natasha and Nadeem was assigned together for a project. A good debate was their first date. He never thought thing will take this turn of course.

She intelligently challenged the way he was processing informations. More ideas generated, sexier she become to him. For him seduction begins in mind. Her wisdom brought the dope soul in him back. Intelligence is sexy. Intelligence is lethal. Its simple,You lust over mind and not body. Philosophy debate is your forplay. When someone keep you engaged in a conversation, that is moving forward and kind of working out the holes in each other's arguments, thats hot as hell. Nadeem was deep in to her soon. She became that safest person, whom he can sit beside and think out loud with. Despite initial friction, She was very patient with his whimsical way of sharing ideas.

That’s how you make sense of life. It was gold to have someone willing and unassuming enough to help us by listening to our process. They had the deepest affection for intellectual conversations. The abilty to just sit and talk about everything. To speak without regret or fear of consequence. To talk for hours and about whats really important in life. They could talk about anything on universe for hours. Art, love, culture, music, stars, galaxy, people, mystry, jealousy, insecuirity, happiness, sex etc.

Meanwhile Nadeem although didn’t have clue for what Natasha felt about him. They didn't talk about it yet. He assumed She was also exploring him. Intelligence is sexy. He too was seducing her mind. She will take her time. She need to study each and every aspects of his mind before getting attracted completely. She would want to argue, discuss and debate more. He had completely invested his availability in to her. Basicaly your availability make her attached to you. It might makes her look up to you, when she needs strength and reason to live. He knows that more he inspires her, soon she will be writing poetry for him.

Even if Natasha doesn't reciprocate feeling, it didn't matter to Nadeem, for he was master of one sided love. He had already seen in his mind how their relationship would be like. Both of them being ideosyncratic, would have created their own personal world their entire lives. And once they start exploring each other's world, would be suprised how their world fit each other. They both would have pieces the other one desires. Natasha being more introspective knows how to help him with emotional growth. She would know how to encourage him and to let him know that it's okay to have dark thoughts, to be little serious, to have crazy kind of depth.

He would help Natasha come out of shell. Soon they will be like those giant kids with most innocent and dirtiest mind. They would want to play and create in the world, not merely tied down to paying bills. Both would be a hippies traveling around the world. Their career would be just to fill their passion and not bank account. They would own very few personal belongings. Less is more. Immediate surrounding need would be adressed and both would be back to camping. All the possible creative expressions would be explored. Late night Jams, dancing in the rain, poetry reading, cooking, painting etc .

Bell rang in 1000 decibels!

Nadeem felt anxiety uncoiling from inside. He was sweating mildly. He couldn’t figure out this unexpected turn of things. Anxiety have surgically striked without warning again. His eyes wandered randomly around the entrance door. He took a deep breath to calm down. He even counted even number in reverse. His heartbeat was still fast. Love is the sweetest feeling to have but hardest feeling to leave. It might be the unknown patterns from past, giving him warning signal. He had to make sure that he doesnt spoil relationship by merely aligning romatically. The highest state of romance is one of inexpressible wonder, novelty and adventure in which love becomes absolute, unconditional and universal, and life thrills with the marvel of a divine mystery.

He tried all the best to keep Natasha out of mind. But all went in vain..When you want something, whole universe conspires in helping you achieve it. Natasha appeared at entrance door of classroom. She smiled at Nadeem. Nadeem made dull face to hide his excitement. She slowly settled down at the empty seat next to him.

With Love Farhan

He always believed in concept of "rising" in love than "falling" in love. Rising in love brings on the notion  that you never surrender self-empowerment for the other. When you "rise" in love, you accelerate moving your energies in tto higher creative realms. This was not happening to Farhan for first time. He read the note, he sent to Tara, again and again.

There was a sense of well being, at least she could marry at her right age, unlike many of her friends. She have decided it long time back, to marry in her sweet 30s.

But as always things wouldn't fall in right place, easily. Tara seemed to be in some sort of deep thought. She was on contemplate mode.

All these while she was in peace with her decision. But, as the day of wedding approached closer. She felt a fire in her belly. Suddenly fear and anxiety had camped inside her mind. Fear was troubling her with many questions. .

"Taara, look here!"
It was Tara's sister. She showed a designer saree she had selected from the bridal collection. They had come for completing the most important stage of pre Wedding, the Bridal shopping.

Tara nodded her head in agreement without bothering to see saree. All she could see was the enthusiasm in her sister's face. She looks happy.

Why not?. At last her sister has come in term to societal expectations. She had agreed to enter wedlock like every individual of society. Very soon she will be Mrs Arun Nair!. Everyone were happy. He is a NRI from America.

It was a 'yes' from her, after series of interview with many prospective grooms. Mr Arun Nair somehow managed to stand out from the rest.

"Didi, I am not feeling well"
Tara said to her sister. It was an excuse to stay away from the crowd. The shop was so busy, as if the whole world have decided to get married.

Tara settled down alone in the silent corner of the building. She took a coffee from a vending machine on the side. Its a natural tendency to have coffee in stressed out situation.

Her newfound stress intensified as she thought more about it. Her mind was Oscillating between a 'Yes' and 'No'. Her hands were literally shaking. It felt like she was on the edge of world and had to make a decision, there and then.

Things were not so tense, weeks ago, when Arun Nair put a ring on her finger. There was a smile on her face. In fact she was feeling victorious, as it was a well thought decision. He was sending her flowers, gifts and everything our culture have told, is the way of Love.  The love butterflies were flying. The feeling was in air, as you should feel head over heels "in love". She has met her prince at last, like the one which she saw in Fairy tales, as she grow up.

But as always, time open the curtain to truth. As the initial rush of feeling and certainty faded, the frightful layers beneath showed up.

"Was this the real love she was searching for her lifetime?"

There was no risk of real love all these while. There was no risk of vulnerability or loss, while chasing or searching the 'unavailable partner' or the 'perfect one'.

But moment faced with the reality of life long commitment to a so called "the perfect man available", inner voice supported by fear intervened.

Fear and love are dualities in the same chamber of heart. Fear protects your vulnerable heart when u fall in Love. Befriending fear helps love to make room for inner voice's  questions.

"Mr Arun do you really love me?"
Question were to examine if real connection existed. There shouldn't be room for any doubt. Its going to be a life time decision.

Gradually Mr Arun Nair, the perfect prince from fairy tale seems, vanishing by the progression of her inner voice questions.

"Mr Arun, tell me what is real Love?"
All these things didn't come out when she interviewed him, when they met for first time. But then there is a two side of getting to know a person, that is emotionally and rationally. Rationally we can interview, analyse and understand. But emotional side is different. It require time.

Real love is not just emotions, its beyond thoughts or feelings. Its knowing that you are still motivated to spent time with him, even after that initial rush of feelings vanishes. Even when all the butterflies of romance disappears, you should be drawn to him like magnetic pull, sometime strong, some time less.

Tara open her eyes to see if Arun was there or not. In fact Mr Arun Nair has vanished.
"What?". Tara woke from her sleep with shock. There was no real love. She gulped in a glass of water.

It was not that Tara didn't knew, all this while. Its all matter of time. All these thoughts awake from ocean of subconscious, only when real love stood in front of her like a rock. The rock that she had failed to notice all this while.

There was a smile in her face. It felt more better now. She happily read again the last note Farhan sent her. She had been reading it repeatedly for a while.

"Some times inspired by our fantasy, we think that once you meet "The perfect  one", you will be lifted out of misery or boredom and elevated in to state of bliss. He is supposed to fill emptiness in you.

But in real nobody can make you feel joyful and whole. Its something we have to do our own, being in touch with the inner self. We have to look inside and create our own happiness there.

While I would wish you for your better future. Inside I would say you to come back!."
With Love
Farhan

               With Love, Christina!

At last on that day, you will get celebrity like treatment. Everybody will look up to you. They will take photo with you. And most importantly, you will be spending your many year’s spending at one go. 

Yes of course, on your wedding day!

“Mama, I don’t want to get married. My bank balance is just Rs 10,000”

I didn’t have to think much to say that. There wasn’t any better reason not to get married. Mama almost laughed as I told this. Its said that, women don’t like revealing their age and men their bank balance. Mama didn’t expect me being open about it. But she swallowed laugh, not to hurt her son’s ego.

“So what is your plan?. Who is going to carry your legacy?”

Mom skillfully put the question before me. Every mom knows the art of framing perfect sentence, to push their children forward. They don’t let you relax after making a statement. They will always make you think ahead.

“I mean..I don’t want to invest big amount on my wedding. Just exchanging a garland and register marraging would be enough. Infact that would be awesome……Then we will have Biriyani from nearby hotel. I would rather donate that saved amount to cancer treatment hospital……..or some thing like that.” 

Mama didn't say anything. There was pause for a moment.

Then I said “Howz the idea, mama?”

That’s the toughest idea any Indian mom could accept. There was a mild shock in her face. Responsibility towards society is fine. But she would also have to answer all neighbors and relative’s questions. They are also part of society.

“Why there wasn’t any marriage ceremony?.”

“ We want to see the bride officially!” etc. All the questions for which she would struggle to answer, just like ministers, when they address press after a scam. Only difference would be they can’t ask for her resignation.

Although I wish she could answer them like this,

“Get lost! You people mind your own business…..”

“ Go have your own life!. Please let us alone”

“Oh!. Papa will come now. I have to prepare food for him…. In the mean while you go get your garland ready”, she said.

There was a beautiful smile on her face when she said that. She tactfully escaped from conversation. I had an awkward expression as reaction. She giggled and walked towards kitchen. I stood there watching her. Its very hard to match her coolness. She has a terrific sense of humor and wisdom. Some times feel mothers are angels sent down by God to look after us. Otherwise how could they have such amazing wisdom to carry the civilization forward, considering only a limited exposure they get from outside world.

All that world give them is troubles. They have been bearing us even before we were born!. And for all the care she took of us in her womb, all we give back is blame for all our mistakes.

“I don’t want that poor dress”

“Where is my shoes?”

“Today I don’t want rice!”

Natural state of motherhood is sacrifice and unconditional love. They would silently listen to our arguments and commands.

“How was your day?”

At the end of day, they would come and ask.

Mom might be still thinking on what ever I told her earlier. I slowly peeped in to kitchen. Mom was cutting vegetables.

“Oh I wished, if there was some one to help you”

Mom looked at me hearing my voice. I gave a faded smile, as I moved forward to sit on table across her.

“Why sir?”, she said as she continued her work.

“Am I not doing the job well?. That you have to appoint additional labour?”. She looked at me. I didn’t look at her. As I told earlier, its very difficult to match with her sense of humor.

“No additional labour required. I will help you”. Better stop talking and start doing.

I jumped down from table and leaned on kitchen table to take another knife. Mom looked at me. I didn’t look at her face. I took one of the Onion in my hands to chop it. Mom was still staring at me. I didn’t bother to face her.

“Hello looser!”, she called me teasingly. That made me laugh. I looked at her.

“Sir you do your job, I will do my job”, she said in her funny requesting tone. It was a cute expression on her face. She smiled beautifully. I looked at her like joker. I left the knife back. It gave me pleasure to be a joker, when I could bring smile on her face like that. I kissed on her cheeks. she accepted my love, like a mother bird taking her child under her wings. I was the small bird, still seeking little pillow to put heads down. There is no better meditation than spending time with your innocent mother. You don't have to go to 

mountain to meditate or become a yoga. All needed is to take a nap on your mother's lap.

“Go!. Let me make curry.….Am coming…..”

“… Want to talk to you!”, she said

“Ok Mama!”, I said. ‘Mama’ is the most compassionate word that comes to your lips.

I walked to the guest room. TV was on. I sat on the sofa wondering what she would want to talk to me. It could be something like.

“After certain stage of life, you will feel, there is a boundary for every relationship. You will need someone for ever, to share your life!”

My mobile phone pinged. I checked the unread message in my Inbox.

“I Love you.

Miss you,

Yours Loving,

Christina”

Women are beautiful, no matter from where they came from. Weather from Adam's rib or Mars or Venus. They make our life beautiful. How they love and miss us. As some one said, behind every successful man there will be a women. Infact you are double blessed, if it is two women. Do not misunderstand!. I meant mother and wife.

But wife is not a easy choice to make. You can’t find women of your life, just like go shopping a sandals or phone. Once brought we can't return it as well. Wives come without warranty, unlike products. We have to be 100 percent precise.

There is a famous quote from Robert frost, “A mother takes 20 years to make Man of her boy and another women make fool of him in twenty minutes!”

Of course its nice to have a girl friend like Christina. But when it come to wife, you prefer homely, traditional girl that your parents select for you. Its like looking for spicy chilly chicken, when we go outside and at home preferring traditional coconut mixed chicken curry!. Men will be Men, as said in some deodorant Ad.

Oh! God!. Just imagine my parent’s reaction, when I tell them that, I am marrying Christina. Imagine Christina kissing me in front of mom. That thought itself sent shiver down my spine. I don’t have guts to tell them. It will be better to break Christina’s heart than mom’s heart. As per Robert Frost’s quote, It will take life time for mom to recover from that shock. Christina will be ‘ok’ after twenty minutes!.

Well, jokes apart, Where is my sweet Mom?. She would have framed perfect sentence to tell me, by now. There was a silence in kitchen. All the chance, that she would come any minute. It was time to take the next step. As usual, turning points of our life happens in an unexpected moment. I didn’t knew my moment was waiting around the corner.

As all I did was to keep Christina’s photo along with my wallet on table. And quickly moved to next room, to watch my mom’s reaction. It was time to display my sense of humor to mama. Time to match her wisdom. Photo was kept in such a way that it would attract my mom’s attention straight away.

She came from kitchen. There was a tired expression on her face. Ofcourse that expression will change as she come across her daughter in law’s smiling face. She took the photo in her hands.

On the photo caption was “With Love, Christina”

Quit India

When Sachin Tendulkar walks in, people switch on their T.V and switch off life. In 90's when India had nothing to look up to the world, Sachin Tendulkar would walk onto the crease and smash bowlers all over the ground and keep the Indian spirits high. As India steadied its economy by liberalising in late 90's and then later went on to become an emerging economic power, Sachin had piled up tons of runs and records. Thus cricket and India are interrelated. 

Cricket to India, is what Burger is to America and cheap technology is to China. Cricket pumps passion and patriotism in the country. But as far as I am concerned, Indian patriotism is not merely waving national flag while watching a cricket match. We have a rich Indian heritage to look up to. We are the one of oldest civilizations in the world. We still continue to be the centre stage of world spirituality.

But off late it has not been happy days for our country. We have witnessed greatest economic slowdown since 1980's. After the British looted our country and left, Indian politicians made sure that Indian wealth doesn’t get looted like that again. Hence they slowly saved bulk of this wealth as currency in their foreign bank accounts.

All we could do was fold arms, take a back seat and watch all that was happening. But there was occasional spark when people like Arvind Kejriwal stood up and fought all odds. He broke the conventional concept of VIP politics. He gave up minister bungalows and moved out without high profile securities. For the first time a journalist fried all politicians live on T.V, saying nation demanded the answer. Arnab Goswami shouted like his own sister was raped, when the national outbreak happened post Delhi gang rape case. For first time a politician and journalist sounded like one among us.

That was when I had to meet my NRI cousin from Britain, who was never one among us. We were going home after receiving him from the airport. He had settled in U.K along with Uncle and Aunt long back. He had come for summer vacations. Although we had good childhood memories, we don't share any nostalgic moments anymore. All I expected from his company was silence. 

But he started as soon as the Car was on move. Somebody just escaped from being hit by our car. In India being almost hit by a vehicle, is one of your daily routine like brushing teeth, bathing etc.

"Holy crap mahn! ", He said. "Holy crap" is the English word that all NRIs use to react to anything in India. 'WTF' has become so common in India, that even fisherman use it.

"I guess here people walk on road and vehicles on gutters". He said.

"Infact NASA scientist could practice their space vehicle launch on Indian Roads before going on moon. It would add lot of experience. "

That was the first goal he hit. But then I am not the person to answer all this. Our Great leader Gandhiji taught us non-violent movements. He observed civil Disobedience movement before launching Quit India movement and making British leave India. So I didn't say anything. I peacefully concentrated on my driving.

And after all NRIs are total different breeds. In fact they are a bunch of confused individuals who have no country of their own, a person who doesn't understand the importance of taking pride in one’s rich heritage. If at all anything interests them about the country, it is the depreciating value of the Indian rupee, during their foreign money exchanges.

That was when our car passed a guy peeing on the road side. Its not that we don't have enough toilets in India. But we are big time nature lovers. For everything we do, we try to integrate nature in to it.

“The National Geographic calls this country a heaven on earth. Holy crap!..Rope tricks, sadhus, cobras, people lying and peeing on roadsides. Does all these happen in Heaven?!. It doesn't make sense at all”, He said.

Everything in India irritates NRIs. They are highly crictical of the way we walk, pee, shit, literally anything.

This time I responded. “See no country is perfect. If Britain was so perfect, then why did they loot our wealth and take it to Britain?”

He didn't bother to respond. He sat like he heard nothing. I wanted to say him more but then for the sake of great Gandhiji, I did't say him anything. Gandhiji taught us to love even our enemy. I have to love him for another four hours. Its a long journey ahead.

“Brother, can I have a page”, He said as I was reading the newspaper. We were sitting in a coffee shop to take a break from the long drive. I felt hesitant to give him, as the paper was completely filled with materials to boost his sarcasm. The first page had 400 crore scam, I turned to regional page. Although not huge, they were competing with national scam. A 20 crore scam! Turned to sports page, “India lost to Bangladesh!” I gave him page-3, the entertainment news. Afteral Bollywood is accepted all over the world.

But still trouble couldn't be avoided. Headline was “Why is Salman Khan not getting married?”

“Why are Indians obsessed about Salman Khan's sex life?” He said. “All they wanted is to get married and breed like pigs everywhere. Look at the population, real pigs!”

I stood up from the table. He looked at me, wondering what I was going to do. There is a limit for everything. It was time for the next Gandhian mode, “Quit India”. I just walked out of the cafe. Didn't bother to even listen, what he was saying from behind. Car started, Soon I was on the move, leaving him behind.

“Quit my car at least!!”

Happy Journey

It was a Monday, a terrible day!. Sun was smiling in the sky. What else it has to do?. I mean it just have to show up in the early morning and go back by evening. That's a routine job, some thing like watch Man Job. Nothing creative to do. Ohh! It almost killed me with its monstrous rays. Thank! God that Mr.Jabar died. I could rest in a bus shed built in memory of late Mr.Jabar. If at all not to pay a tribute to Mr.Jabar, the Bus shelter wouldn't have been built. It was not a bus shed but a cow shed. Even a cow would refuse to put dung in it. The roof of the shed was floating in air.

I was so worried. It was getting late like hell. A man was standing nearby. I asked him the time. He was very happy to help me and answered " Don’t worry sir, you will get it from a watch". For a minute there was silence. WTF! Man. I was like “Did you really say that?. You must be some guy who escaped from mental hospital. Get cured soon, brother”.

"Thank you very much", That's all I said. He said "Its ok, I love helping people". He then started talking about himself and never stopped. Poor guy he didn't know that he was a fool."

After an hour of waiting, the bus came. It looked like a municipality waste basket. It had whole China in it. It was too crowded. People were hanging from all sides. To my surprise, lots of people rushed in to the bus. Now, from where all these people came. I didn't see them few minutes back. Did they fall from sky just now?. These people have really made me angry, that an egg omelet could have been easily made on my burning head. I have no other option. It was getting late.

After going through the necessary evil of wrestling, I was able to get in to the bus; actually only a part of my leg, to be precise five fingers. Bus started moving and my balance too was moved. A moment of loss of balance would have resulted in my head crushed in to five chicken biriyani pieces under the tyre. I was not sure whether I will get bus ticket or ticket to hell. I love hell!. All my dear folks will be there. We would jazz party there. And if heaven was at neighborhood, Imagine Gandhiji coming out from heaven and shouting at us to keep the volume down!. “Hahah!!”. I couldn't stop laughing. People looked at me strange.

After few kilometers of travel their came a relief. Bus came to an halt. Could relax for some time. A policeman had stopped the bus. Driver presented before him all the documents. The policeman found a missing paper among document. Next moment we saw the policemen slapping the driver. The hit was so hard that the driver would have forgot his father's name. Thats só harsh. I hated these corrupt rascals. Wanted to do something. But as always in India, kept quiet.

Driver placed 500.RS among the documents and the policeman got the missing paper. I remember clearly that policemen also had entered the bus. The bus started moving again. The condition of bus was miserable with lots of wear and tear. It wanted to be like a racing car but she got to accept the truth that even when bull carts of state had a gear, state bus remained the same. Who is responsible for her pity condition?. Is it her mother, the state government?. Am not sure about her father, whether it is state transport corporation or private corporation.

In a flash of second I saw an empty seat in the front and I flied. I placed my bums towards seat and found myself sitting on someone's lap. Now Where the hell this person came from?. He had infiltrated in to my seat like Pakistani soldiers did in kargil. I felt like like a hurted Indian army. I wanted to kill him with AK-47 rifle. Blood pumped high inside me as if fitted to a motor and felt like it would soon overflow out of head. My elbow rose with out my permission to hit him behind me. Every thing looked blurred and in flash of second I had given mighty blow on his face. I quickly turned back to see him and I was stunned. I was thrown out of the bus by the policeman. He came near me, covering his bleeding nose.

The Unemployed

Have to do something to get out of this mental torture. Life is all about hanging around with all the agony and frustration. Michael thought as he tossed and turned in his bed. Its very hard to fall asleep when there is a heavy traffic in your mind. In fact world war was going inside Michael's head. Its been two days since he was living in that Inn. It was located on the country side.

Michael stood on his feet, hoping all the worries flowed down in to earth. Its not easy to leave your family and stay in an unknown land. He felt shiver down his throat as he thought about his parents. They would be worried, wondering where their son was. Michael opened the beer bottle. There is nothing like beer, that can control traffic jam in your head. 12% alcohol does the job.

Michael slowly sipped from the bottle. He felt better now. One does wonder what on earth does a 22 year old have so much to worry about. It is from social studies of class four that we hear the word Unemployed for the first time. But then we didn't know how torturing the word is. Michael was slowly reaching in to the world where alcohol can take you. He felt more and more light, as if all the burdens from his head were taken off.

Parents provide their children with everything they want, but their expectation in return remain as burden on children's head. He could still remember the expression on his mother's face when he told her that he wanted to become a writer. "There is no money in writing", she came out with a statement. "There is neither money in poetry, nor poetry in money", a beautiful quote immediately struck him.

To be a writer is a condition rather than profession. Almighty opens the door to truth, when one becomes the writer. Everything flows out of your pen like magic, thereafter. It was not that he wanted to change the world with writing, he just enjoyed doing it. He had found his existence through the expression through words. It is beautiful!

He took the last sip from the bottle. The ambiance from the surroundings was terrific. It further enhanced the drink. The bar was well lit up. Blue was the predominant color. There were a few paintings hanging on the wall. He had a look at all those paintings. As usual a naked woman was subject of all the paintings. He wondered if a naked woman was the most beautiful thing in the world. It had dominated all major art form for centuries. One of the women reminded him of his first love.

Alcohol along with the painting was taking him away from the problem. But there is no point in running away. One needs to face it. Hardest thing is when you wake up in the morning and think what you are going to do. People will keep coming with the killer question " What's next?". Some of them just need a look, to remind you, that you are unemployed. It seems all these people were employed since birth. Most of the unemployed minds are occupied with plans. You keep planning the whole day what you are going to do. But all you end up is in devil's workshop, with your idle mind. Or you could end up in Bar with your friends, who too are unemployed. Everybody compete with each other to become the best loafer. You might grow your hair or might not take bath for month to look hippy. You will be the superficial rebel at best. If none of the above happen, surely you might end up watching serials with your mom!. Its the time when u notice the things which you wouldn't have otherwise. You will know, in which class your younger sibling is studying. How the seconds hand move in the clock. How cool your dad's mustache is. How beautiful your house maid is!

The bottle was finished. Michael felt as light as a balloon. He looked around. The waiter had been looking at him for a long time. He felt annoyed. One comes to bar to have privacy. What the hell was his problem? Michael wanted to have a crack at him. To further surprise him, the waiter came closer. He was very thin. Michael could easily pin him on to the floor. But he couldn't even lift his arm now. He was feeling dizzy.

Waiter had something in his hands. It looked like a newspaper. Michael wondered why on the earth, did the waiter want him to read the news, that too at midnight. Suddenly a column got his attention.

"22 year old missing for last 3 days!". God damn it!, below the caption was his photograph.