“How will I answer the questions soul ask?”
Nadeem scribbled randomly on his notepad. He was in conversation for past one hour. Most of his lifetime is spent in inner talks. He can be on self reflection mode for weeks. Sometimes months, uncovering the core beliefs from depth of his being, deriving meanings from life's puzzles. Its not an easy journey, untill you arrive at final destination of inner peace.
Fear of uncertainity never stops him. An idealist is always in search of meaning in life. For an instance, if he is walking down a path and stubs his toes, he may wonder why it happened and what it means. While others look for casual connection between things in space, idealist always believes universe is trying to tell them something. He would start searching his thoughts or current event in his life, to see if something is holding him back or tripping him up.
“Excuse me!”
Nadeem was disturbed from his trip.
“Can I take this seat?” asked his classmate.
“Sorry!”, Nadeem brutaly turn down the request. The seat was reserved for Natasha.
It is going to be first bell soon. Natasha haven’t arrived yet.
However counciously Nadeem tried to avoid thoughts of Natasha, it came back strongly. He feared if Natasha would figure it out, when he is overly available to her. He was totallly tripping over love. It all began when Natasha and Nadeem was assigned together for a project. A good debate was their first date. He never thought thing will take this turn of course.
She intelligently challenged the way he was processing informations. More ideas generated, sexier she become to him. For him seduction begins in mind. Her wisdom brought the dope soul in him back. Intelligence is sexy. Intelligence is lethal. Its simple,You lust over mind and not body. Philosophy debate is your forplay. When someone keep you engaged in a conversation, that is moving forward and kind of working out the holes in each other's arguments, thats hot as hell. Nadeem was deep in to her soon. She became that safest person, whom he can sit beside and think out loud with. Despite initial friction, She was very patient with his whimsical way of sharing ideas.
That’s how you make sense of life. It was gold to have someone willing and unassuming enough to help us by listening to our process. They had the deepest affection for intellectual conversations. The abilty to just sit and talk about everything. To speak without regret or fear of consequence. To talk for hours and about whats really important in life. They could talk about anything on universe for hours. Art, love, culture, music, stars, galaxy, people, mystry, jealousy, insecuirity, happiness, sex etc.
Meanwhile Nadeem although didn’t have clue for what Natasha felt about him. They didn't talk about it yet. He assumed She was also exploring him. Intelligence is sexy. He too was seducing her mind. She will take her time. She need to study each and every aspects of his mind before getting attracted completely. She would want to argue, discuss and debate more. He had completely invested his availability in to her. Basicaly your availability make her attached to you. It might makes her look up to you, when she needs strength and reason to live. He knows that more he inspires her, soon she will be writing poetry for him.
Even if Natasha doesn't reciprocate feeling, it didn't matter to Nadeem, for he was master of one sided love. He had already seen in his mind how their relationship would be like. Both of them being ideosyncratic, would have created their own personal world their entire lives. And once they start exploring each other's world, would be suprised how their world fit each other. They both would have pieces the other one desires. Natasha being more introspective knows how to help him with emotional growth. She would know how to encourage him and to let him know that it's okay to have dark thoughts, to be little serious, to have crazy kind of depth.
He would help Natasha come out of shell. Soon they will be like those giant kids with most innocent and dirtiest mind. They would want to play and create in the world, not merely tied down to paying bills. Both would be a hippies traveling around the world. Their career would be just to fill their passion and not bank account. They would own very few personal belongings. Less is more. Immediate surrounding need would be adressed and both would be back to camping. All the possible creative expressions would be explored. Late night Jams, dancing in the rain, poetry reading, cooking, painting etc .
Bell rang in 1000 decibels!
Nadeem felt anxiety uncoiling from inside. He was sweating mildly. He couldn’t figure out this unexpected turn of things. Anxiety have surgically striked without warning again. His eyes wandered randomly around the entrance door. He took a deep breath to calm down. He even counted even number in reverse. His heartbeat was still fast. Love is the sweetest feeling to have but hardest feeling to leave. It might be the unknown patterns from past, giving him warning signal. He had to make sure that he doesnt spoil relationship by merely aligning romatically. The highest state of romance is one of inexpressible wonder, novelty and adventure in which love becomes absolute, unconditional and universal, and life thrills with the marvel of a divine mystery.
He tried all the best to keep Natasha out of mind. But all went in vain..When you want something, whole universe conspires in helping you achieve it. Natasha appeared at entrance door of classroom. She smiled at Nadeem. Nadeem made dull face to hide his excitement. She slowly settled down at the empty seat next to him.
