Idealism and karma are her favourite idea. She was gifted with this complex layers in her personality. But she never let it prevent disconnecting with averages of society. Sometimes she faked being more like them so they would accept her. It was very normal for her to do so. All she wanted was harmony. The very pupose of her life is helping and motivating others. She has a very warm, selective language, speaking in human terms, rather than pure logic and facts. She can be both incredibly shy, quet and withdrawn, aswell as charming, fun and hilarious.
When it comes to intimacy, she looks for connection that goes beyond physical. She prefer to embrace both spiritual and emotional connection, she have with partner. You cherish not just the act of being in a relationship, but what it means to become one with another person in mind, body and soul. She can take time to find someone with whom she can connect truely. Once she find that, it will be a relationship with a level of depth and sincerity, of which most people can only dream.
Nadeem was a perfect person for her to experience what love and life has to offer. She can go out of her way for him. She might create wall for fear of getting hurt or people misunderstanding her. She doesnt want to be judged for all these complex inner thoughts and feeling. So she keep them behind other gifted layers she posess. She might have a cynical side, which makes her look more practical than romantic. But It isn't what she is. She is a closet romantics with big heart and passionate spirit.
"Bloody hell!, I am hooked". she thought. She was replaying her conversation with Nadeem again and again in her mind. It is that haunting feeling, that pokes you in the first stage of fascination. But She knew it well, because this was a loop she travelled before. Being consumed by love is something often she dreams of and also fear at same time
" I swear, I recognized him, that I knew him from somewhere in past, moment I saw him. The connection was instant". She said to her friend.
Having concern of hurting other's feelings, she always run away from conflict. For she might internalize conflict in to her body and experience health problems under lot of stress. She knew that she had to meet him again. They are in different cities now. She will meet him before leaving for higher studies. There are many questions to ask him. She wanted to know everything. She is genuinely as warm as she is complex. She is close to people who are able to understand her depth of care.
Natasha tried to put everything off mind and sleep. It was 2:00 AM already.
"If I couldn't crawl inside his head and look out at world from behind his eyes, there was a strong chance, I might suffocate and die" Fascination was not going to leave her tonight.
This is an obsession nobody would understand, If Natasha explained. For most of her life, she was crazy, needy, clingy or even had stalker syndrome, that surfaced at unexpected time. The fascination has taken over her again. She would be doomed to beat her head against her inner wall, untill she can collapse out with sheer weariness.
When she consulted about this to her friend, if she might be romatically attached to a person whom she dont know well or just her ego getting satisfied. They suggested to give it more time.
Wheather she buys their idea or not, her fascination had different plans. It wanted her to know as much about Nadeem and ofcourse crawl inside his head for short time and live there, just to see what could be found out.
"Yes, 50% is her obsession, but 50% is what Nadeem is doing." She reflected
Once you meet someone, with whom you have formed a fast, intense and dynamic connection , it will be better to come together quick to exchange soul lessons. They carry the pieces we desires.
"Ok! Wait! Let me slow this down"
Natasha was a specious wired to do things either with passion or not at all. Perhaps middle of the road feels like a stagnant approach to living. It seems bland, uneventful, uninspiring. No room for development. No opportunity to go off the beaten path in search of your own. It rids us of the highs and lows we need in order to experience the full spectrum of life. Natasha was always on eternal quest to find an endeavor or field of work that gives her the feeling of contributing to the greater good, of helping others, of creating a legacy.
She wondered "I often feel I’m “burdened with glorious purpose,” to quote Loki, but have no clue what that purpose is, nor how to find it." So when settling into an occupation or project, if she not feeling it, would invariably move on."
She reflected " Love fiercely, or not at all; exercise relentlessly and eat well, or pig out on the sofa and eat junk food; work 20 hours a day for days on end, or sit and procrastinate all weekend like it’s no one’s business. I cannot do middle of the road, at least not for any appreciable length of time. I’m not sure why."
Natasha took a deep breath in and out. She was feeling thirsty. She gulped a glass of water. Pursuing real life relationship with person whom you form a fascination is not easy. The circumstance can cause all kind of conflict, disfunction and heartbreak down the line. Fascination is not the green signal for romance. But its not a cause for her to shut herself down and run in other direction either.
She knew Nadeem would be clueless at other end. She hadn't given a notice and expressed that they need this distance. She just dissapeared without word. She read emotions of others well. All Natasha didn't want was to hurt Nadeem. She will take care of him in the way it should be. She need to have clarity.
"Men tend to fall in love easily and express love quickly comparing to us. They have less to loose. It could be for evolutionary reason. Women have to be more guarded about falling for someone. " Natasha thought
But She could't fade out her fascination for Nadeem neither. If she does that, she would torture herself to hell. She would talk to him soon. She doesn't want to run away or procastinate for long, as fascination choked her. She wanted to explore it. Give the object of her obsession, space to speak their experience, as part of her story. She wanted to see what changes occur, when she does exactly what Nadeem wants.
She messaged him
"Hey, How you?"
If all goes well, it would be rosses and chockalates soon in no matter of time. For a hopeless romantic, life is love. They walks the life wearing rose coloured glasses. Everything is lovey-dovey, beautiful and romantic. She was a smiling, when she thought about it.
"Hey" Reply from Nadeem came. Anxiety coiled inside Natasha. She doubted if she wanted conversation now. But its out of her nature to be a ghost now. She knew she can deal this. She will continue on cynical mode.
When it comes to intimacy, she looks for connection that goes beyond physical. She prefer to embrace both spiritual and emotional connection, she have with partner. You cherish not just the act of being in a relationship, but what it means to become one with another person in mind, body and soul. She can take time to find someone with whom she can connect truely. Once she find that, it will be a relationship with a level of depth and sincerity, of which most people can only dream.
Nadeem was a perfect person for her to experience what love and life has to offer. She can go out of her way for him. She might create wall for fear of getting hurt or people misunderstanding her. She doesnt want to be judged for all these complex inner thoughts and feeling. So she keep them behind other gifted layers she posess. She might have a cynical side, which makes her look more practical than romantic. But It isn't what she is. She is a closet romantics with big heart and passionate spirit.
"Bloody hell!, I am hooked". she thought. She was replaying her conversation with Nadeem again and again in her mind. It is that haunting feeling, that pokes you in the first stage of fascination. But She knew it well, because this was a loop she travelled before. Being consumed by love is something often she dreams of and also fear at same time
" I swear, I recognized him, that I knew him from somewhere in past, moment I saw him. The connection was instant". She said to her friend.
Having concern of hurting other's feelings, she always run away from conflict. For she might internalize conflict in to her body and experience health problems under lot of stress. She knew that she had to meet him again. They are in different cities now. She will meet him before leaving for higher studies. There are many questions to ask him. She wanted to know everything. She is genuinely as warm as she is complex. She is close to people who are able to understand her depth of care.
Natasha tried to put everything off mind and sleep. It was 2:00 AM already.
"If I couldn't crawl inside his head and look out at world from behind his eyes, there was a strong chance, I might suffocate and die" Fascination was not going to leave her tonight.
This is an obsession nobody would understand, If Natasha explained. For most of her life, she was crazy, needy, clingy or even had stalker syndrome, that surfaced at unexpected time. The fascination has taken over her again. She would be doomed to beat her head against her inner wall, untill she can collapse out with sheer weariness.
When she consulted about this to her friend, if she might be romatically attached to a person whom she dont know well or just her ego getting satisfied. They suggested to give it more time.
Wheather she buys their idea or not, her fascination had different plans. It wanted her to know as much about Nadeem and ofcourse crawl inside his head for short time and live there, just to see what could be found out.
"Yes, 50% is her obsession, but 50% is what Nadeem is doing." She reflected
Once you meet someone, with whom you have formed a fast, intense and dynamic connection , it will be better to come together quick to exchange soul lessons. They carry the pieces we desires.
"Ok! Wait! Let me slow this down"
Natasha was a specious wired to do things either with passion or not at all. Perhaps middle of the road feels like a stagnant approach to living. It seems bland, uneventful, uninspiring. No room for development. No opportunity to go off the beaten path in search of your own. It rids us of the highs and lows we need in order to experience the full spectrum of life. Natasha was always on eternal quest to find an endeavor or field of work that gives her the feeling of contributing to the greater good, of helping others, of creating a legacy.
She wondered "I often feel I’m “burdened with glorious purpose,” to quote Loki, but have no clue what that purpose is, nor how to find it." So when settling into an occupation or project, if she not feeling it, would invariably move on."
She reflected " Love fiercely, or not at all; exercise relentlessly and eat well, or pig out on the sofa and eat junk food; work 20 hours a day for days on end, or sit and procrastinate all weekend like it’s no one’s business. I cannot do middle of the road, at least not for any appreciable length of time. I’m not sure why."
Natasha took a deep breath in and out. She was feeling thirsty. She gulped a glass of water. Pursuing real life relationship with person whom you form a fascination is not easy. The circumstance can cause all kind of conflict, disfunction and heartbreak down the line. Fascination is not the green signal for romance. But its not a cause for her to shut herself down and run in other direction either.
She knew Nadeem would be clueless at other end. She hadn't given a notice and expressed that they need this distance. She just dissapeared without word. She read emotions of others well. All Natasha didn't want was to hurt Nadeem. She will take care of him in the way it should be. She need to have clarity.
"Men tend to fall in love easily and express love quickly comparing to us. They have less to loose. It could be for evolutionary reason. Women have to be more guarded about falling for someone. " Natasha thought
But She could't fade out her fascination for Nadeem neither. If she does that, she would torture herself to hell. She would talk to him soon. She doesn't want to run away or procastinate for long, as fascination choked her. She wanted to explore it. Give the object of her obsession, space to speak their experience, as part of her story. She wanted to see what changes occur, when she does exactly what Nadeem wants.
She messaged him
"Hey, How you?"
If all goes well, it would be rosses and chockalates soon in no matter of time. For a hopeless romantic, life is love. They walks the life wearing rose coloured glasses. Everything is lovey-dovey, beautiful and romantic. She was a smiling, when she thought about it.
"Hey" Reply from Nadeem came. Anxiety coiled inside Natasha. She doubted if she wanted conversation now. But its out of her nature to be a ghost now. She knew she can deal this. She will continue on cynical mode.
